I’ve posted a link to a blog called Meds No More. It is about a woman’s struggle to reach stability by weaning herself off her medication completely. It is a concept I never thought possible but she is fighting and surviving. It is truly inspirational to me. Stories about people beating the odds are all very captivating and important.
Another individual who has beaten the odds and survived is Robin Roberts, ex-ESPN anchor and current host of Good Morning America. I heard her on the radio this morning and couldn’t help but reflect upon what I heard in my post today. She was talking about her struggle to beat cancer. At first she wanted to fight the battle independently and anonymously, but then, encouraged by her mother, she made her fight public and became a spokesperson and a face for overcoming cancer. As she said in the interview this morning, cancer does not discriminate. She never thought that it could strike her, but it did and she refused to lay down and die. She is now cancer free and does a great deal to raise money and awareness for beating this often deadly disease.
Schizoaffective Disorder does not discriminate either. I started this blog as a means of coping with my illness in a public forum, but is my struggle really public? Only my first name is written on this blog in an attempt to keep my illness and my daily struggles from the eyes and the minds of current and future employers. Even some family members and friends do not know about my diagnosis and I really don’t want them finding out. Why isn’t one’s struggle to confront and overcome a mental illness like another person’s fight against cancer? Both afflictions are completely random and potentially lethal… Why cant’ I bring myself to truly publicize my blog and thus my illness? I thought about sending out a blast email to friends and family promoting this site, but even my fiance, Jamie, my biggest supporter and rock, doesn’t want her friends knowing about the things I write about. The stigma exists and it is crippling.
The Meds No More woman, like Robin Roberts, seems to be in a place where she is more open about her illness and her struggles to overcome it. I’m not there right now. I work with children and am pursuing a career in education, and I don’t want parents of kids, or even the kids themselves finding out about the trials I have been through due to my illness. Call it cowardly, but I just don’t want all the reading public knowing that I’ve spent time in prison, have been in and out of a psych ward and on occasion still hear voices and experience delusions. Until mental illness is more widely accepted, and the public can attribute erratic behavior to an illness that can take over your body and mind, I will continue to post as some guy named Joshua from somewhere in the Chicagoland area.
Robin Roberts and Lance Armstrong are the faces of cancer survival like Michael J. Fox is the face of coping with PD… But I’m not ready to be Joshua X… The guy coping with Schizoaffective Disorder.
Coping and Hoping 
Leave a comment